In life we all go through transitions:
We are born. We are sent away from home to go to grade school and then high school. We go off to college or work. After college we get a job. After a period of time we get a promotion or change jobs. We face the death of others. We get married. We get divorced.
Every single one of those events are the beginning of a transition.
Transitional Model
This model was developed over the years as I personally worked through transitions with my clients and myself.
Keys to a Transition
A transition is a process that we all must choose to go through. It is a choice.
The more we work the more successful we will be getting to the next stage of growth.
Transitions are stages of growth and add a new ring to your tree of life.
Individuals and organizations go through transitions and stages of growth.
Generally, when an organization is going through a transition and stage of growth so are a number of individuals in that organization.
A warning to all.
When you are going through a transition you tend to be more open. Be careful what you share and with whom. Everyone is more open in transition and you tend to share more information than normal. When it is over you can’t take back what you shared.
If you are in one of the organizations in a stage of growth you need to understand that there will be an increase in the need for process and you will need to change to continue to be successuful.
Transitions – an overview of the phases
Period of uncertainty
The beginning phase of a transition may be preceded with a period of relationship or personal uncertainty. You are not getting along with your boss or spouse.
One of you is not working on the issues. You are fired or you quit.
This period of uncertainty has lots of signals, but someone is not paying attentions.
At some point one side decides this is over and withdraws.
Moment of recognition
The first step in any transition is a moment of recognition. It will be a clear understanding that something has changed that you have no control over. You may not understand this at the time, but looking back it will be clear.
It is done.
You cannot go back.
This begins your transition and you now must choose to add another stage of growth to your tree of life or stay where you are.
All of us know someone that is still talking about something from years ago that someone did to them. They are still choosing not to go forward.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Denial
Now that we faced the moment of recognition we are thrust into the first phase of transition no matter what we do.
Denial that this is happening. We don’t want to accept what is happening.
Denial is intertwined with anger. Why did you do this to me? Why did God let this happen? How could the world be so cruel? Why did my parents lead me into this line of work when it’s not within my gifts and talents?
In a latter phase of my transition I will recognize that I stand in a circle and the only control I have is with in that circle. That it is me and only me that I control and am responsible for – not others. I may be responsible to others, but not for expect for cases of small children and those incapable of taking care of themselves.
Anger
Anger is the phase that we become angry that we’ve allowed ourselves to be in the position that we are in today. Angry that the choices that we have made had we been more aware or more thoughtful would have been different. Those choices however are in the past. In the anger phase we must come to realize that the decisions are done and that we must move on and the feelings and memories of anger will turn to feelings and memories that will stimulate us as we go into the next phases of acceptance and recommitment.
During the denial and anger is a period of the interval of taking inventory and looking at – Who am I?
In the next phase at the back end of anger in the beginning of acceptance we start to look at who we were meant to be.
Acceptance
This is a period when you give it up and start to move forward. The struggles are mostly over and the hard work of rebuilding stars.
when you’re truly in acceptance you have given up today and come to grips with the choices you made. You take all responsibility of your choices in life and you’re now focused on the future and are looking at – Who I am meant to be?
This phase may take a little time. We are defined by our gifts and talents and the use of those gifts and talents to make us better in our purpose.
I found lots of tools and techniques in this phase for me. Especially Myers-Briggs and 16 PF to help me to understand parts of my personality and that my helping influence in my 16 PF traits inventory was Important for me to note. Even though I had gone into accounting and my undergraduate degree was in accounting I needed the experience, the relationships and the (tools and techniques) that I now use in helping individuals and businesses through transitions and various stages of growth. So rather than a waste of time being somewhat off purpose, these were huge investment in my future.
Recommitment
This begins the becoming who I am meant to be phase.
Once I determine who I am meant to be the process of becoming who I am meant to be starts. It can be a relatively short or extremely long time if I’m required to go to college for several years before I complete this phase or If just changing jobs it could be real relatively short.
The key is that I take a realistic approach to what it takes to become what I meant to be.
In the becoming who I meant to be if I have not already done so I have to recognize that I have to let go of something to reach out to others life opportunities. Letting go is scary.
It is critical for those that try to hold on to the past and don’t let go. They will not make a successful commitment to the next phase of their life.
Preparation
This is the phase that you get the tools to complement your gifts and talents. It may be degree or some type of training. It may be that your training will be used in a different way and you will need to get some experience. The key is you are moving closer to your reason for being – your purpose in life
You are now moving into your next stage of life. In this final phase you have added another ring to you tree of life.
For those that have gone through the entire transition you will always come out stronger than you went in.
A few closing thoughts:
- Out of the greatest crises comes the greatest growth.
- This has been hard work. You’ve changed. People see you differently. That has or will change relationships.
- Having consciously reflected on the elements of the transition that you’ve been through you are more prepared for the next transition.
- My experience has been that there will be several transitions in life that are overwhelming let me know how things turn out.